Light in the darkness

While my 2018 continues to be a challenging one so far I had a brief moment this week that made me realise how much we can change without even noticing.

It’s not even a big thing perhaps for many but for me it is.

I came home from work Tuesday night. It was pitch black as usual. The dogs greet me like they haven’t seen me for 7 years and I hurriedly get their coats and leads on. I change to my blue wellies and don my bobble hat, puffy purple walking coat and a new addition to the walks.. .. a head torch! I wear it under my bobble hat and to be honest I feel a bit of an idiot wearing it! However needs must. Unless I want to do all my walks in the lit up areas that frankly are a little dull I need my head torch.

I walk through the woods and can literally only see the metre ahead of me from the narrow torch light but it’s a familiar route and I dodge the brambles and skip the puddles. It’s so quiet and I see no-one. I look back over the town speckled with white and orange lights and thats when it dawned on me.

About two years ago I remembered that I once wrote a blog about an achievement of mine.. that achievement was that I walked a circular route during the day for the first time. On my own. I remember it well. I had been so pleased with myself because previous to this I would only do that route with someone else. Now, here I was donning a head torch in the dark on my own walking a couple of miles. In the dark. Not just walking but enjoying every moment.

I tried to figure out where did I go from being scared of walking on my own in the day to this. The only thing I could come up with was that I’ve become less scared of the world.

Though most people wouldn’t know it.. I’ve spent a great deal of my life being scared. Yet something somewhere has edged me forward and kept me rolling ahead rather than permanently faltering backwards into my comfort zone.

If you too aren’t having the best start to the year then don’t forget to be kind to yourself and focus on the positive stuff about you too! And if your stuck in a rut or that comfort- zone take a small step outside of it? It might not be that scary after all!

Happy Sunday x lots of love x

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