On the way home today I heard an interview on the radio about a great woman that I knew very little about, Norma Ephron. This strong feisty woman who was an essayist, novelist and a director of some amazing films such as Silkwood (which I have not seen but will be seeing very soon!). She took on the story of strong women, some of her films hadn’t done so well due to their obscurity, but others had such as When Harry met Sally, Julia and Julia and You’ve got Mail. She said that she had tried to write parts for women that were ‘complicated and interesting, as women actually are’. Fabulous!
Anyway, the point was I was listening to this amazing story of her life as I drove along the familiar roads home with light wintry sleet falling on my car. Then a quote from Norma was read out. It took my breath away. I thought, that’s it. That is it.
‘Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim’.
Fabulous statement don’t you think?
I am guilty of being a victim at times and it might be thought I have a right to be. I feel sorry for myself sometimes, I feel the ‘why me’ factor occasionally. Like most of us hit with grief and heartache and disappointments. The ‘why me’ can raise its head far too often.
Be the heroine of your life. I think that is an amazingly positive statement! It makes me smile as I type it out!
In another part of the interview they spoke of Noras death in 2012, she had cancer but she only let a few people know this. Meryl Streep who starred in many of films and was a friend said at her memorial, in some jest perhaps, she was ‘pissed off’ she hadn’t had time to prepare, time to prepare to be without her in her life. But that is how Nora had wanted it. Sometimes that is just how it is. We can’t always be prepared.
In the run up to her death she’d made a list of all the things she’d miss. However, she had also made a list of all the things she wouldn’t miss!!
That got me thinking. It’s easy to think of what you would miss, I’d say I would almost miss everything. But what wouldn’t I miss? I wouldn’t miss grieving and feeling sad and anxious after losing Tes. That goes without saying but the other things?
I thought at first, I wouldn’t miss my long journeys to work but then I would miss hearing this great story and many others on the radio! I thought I wouldn’t miss the cold cold weather but then I wouldn’t have fabulous memories of sledging with my family a couple of years back when we had a 6ft dollop of snow. Then I thought I definitely wouldn’t miss getting up early in the morning every day, but then I would miss the 20mins of quiet ‘me’ time I have before everyone else wakes up. I definitely definitely thought that I won’t miss having stress in my life but without it that means I would miss all those things that challenge me.
Perhaps there aren’t many things I wouldn’t miss.
So being the heroine in our life is something I intend to try and be a bit better at.
It’s our life.
We perhaps aren’t directing films like Norma Ephron but we can direct ourselves. We’re the star of our own show!
Be the heroine in your life!