My baby girl

I’m now embarrassed at my last post, writing quite miserably when there was so little to be sad about. two hours later I found you my baby girl, taken away from me at 14, I’m told there is nothing we could have done and seems your little heart gave up on you way too early. So bright, amazing, beautiful, clever, funny. My love of writing rubbed off on you and you spent hours writing yourself and dreaming of being the next JK Rowling. I want you back so much Tes but I know you’re not coming home, I saw it for myself. Amazingly I have no regrets looking back at our time because I hope you agree I let you live your life, I tried not to stifle you or be too strict, we had boundaries and you understood why but you became an amazing young person that I was in awe off. I love you so much, my gorgeous baby girl xxx

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3 thoughts on “My baby girl

  1. Embarrassed is the last thing you should feel, Dwysan. You were a lovely mother to Tesni. The proof was Tesni herself. I have seen and heard and read so much about her this week that the scale of your loss has become very apparent. She was, had she been spared, obviously going to make her mark in this world in no small way, which only compounds the sadness at her passing. But you need not berate yourself….had you known what was coming you no doubt would have wanted to make everything ‘special’. and that would have been wrong. She lived a full and happy life right to her last moment. At times like this, the religious amongst us have the edge, feel the comfort of a God who has ‘decided’ to ‘take’ the loved one, who is now in a ‘better place’ etc etc. It must be reassuring, and help a great deal. I feel unable to accept that, but , having lost those dear to me, a sister and a brother, I find that I do believe in some kind of spirit that survives, and I can carry them within me for all time. It is some kind of comfort. I think that you will find that. There will always be that physical space that will always be empty, but she will be with you for all time. I shall not come to the funeral, I did not know Tesni and she would not have known who I am, but I shall mourn her death and grieve for you. Strange that this little girl, so far away, should in death have touched my life. Her legacy to me is that she has rendered this old rottweiler toothless. I bless her memory. Roger.

  2. Embarrassed is the last thing you should feel, Dwysan. You were a lovely, caring mother to Tesni. The proof was Tesni herself. She came from you and was part of you. I have seen and heard and read so much about her this week that the depth of your loss has become very apparent. She was, had she been spared, obviously going to make quite an impact in this world, which, of course, only compounds the sense of unfairness at her passing. But you need not berate yourself….had you known what was coming you no doubt would have wanted to make everything ‘special’ and that would have been wrong. As it is, she lived a full, happy and normal life right to her last moment.
    At times like this, the religious amongst us have the advantage. They can feel the comfort and love of a God who has decided, for whatever reason, to ‘take’ the loved one early,who is now ‘in a better place’ and looking down on us struggling mortals. It must be reassuring, and help a great deal. I feel unable to accept that, but having lost those dear to me, my sister and brother, I find that I do believe in some kind of spirit that survives, and lives on within me. In my heart, if you like. It is some comfort, and I think that you will find the same. There will always be that physical space that will always be empty, but she will be with you for all time.
    I shall not come to the funeral, I did not know Tesni and she would not have known who I am, but I shall mourn her death and grieve for you. Strange that this little girl, so far away, should in death have touched my life. Her legacy to me is that she has rendererd this old rottweiler toothless.
    I bless her memory.
    Roger

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