Too young to be a mum?

Someone in response to me (yet again) standing up for my anti Daily Mail view, on Facebook, not only was almost pro the whole welfare thing could be to blame for our ‘vile product of the welfare system’ but also went on to comment how ‘they’ (assume government) are also putting money into ‘young mothers’ and then quoted……”shouldn’t they educate *these* people into not *flippin* getting pregnant in the first place?”.

Cue a red rag to the proverbial bull.

Why do people feel they can judge other people so freely? Who says that you can tell me or anyone else when or when is not the right time to have a child? I’m not going to pretend here that I want my daughter to come home at 16 ‘with child’! I want what most parents want for their children because we think that’s the best for them, to live their life freely and ‘make the most of it’. That is natural. However to criticise and judge that young parents can’t be successful is outrageous and short sighted and …..everywhere.

I’m 41 and my mum is 58. We have often joked that we’ll both collect our pension together at the same time (we thought I’d be 60 and she’d be 77 – how that has changed!). I can’t think of one negative thing about my my mum being a young parent of me. She was and is a fabulous parent. I haven’t asked if she’s ok with me writing this but I know she will be, she brought me up to be strong and to be fair and to be respectful.

She was 28 when I started high school and I just remember thinking how fab that was. My friends adored her and still do, we could talk about anything. The worst bit was that boys slightly older than me thought she was ‘fit’. We had tough times, she had tough times and she worked through them, she worked bloody hard, and I’m so proud of what she has achieved – working for the best part of the last 25 years with vulnerable families. I’m SO proud. Ironically she also became an ‘old mum’ too to my half brother, now 21. She does a fab job of that too. She isn’t perfect (sorry mum) but neither am I who became a parent at 27, neither is my friends mum who is 83. That’s the point isn’t it, good and bad and imperfect parents come from all ages and backgrounds.

So stop judging, stop expecting people to live by your morals and values and concentrate on your own *flippin* life. I didn’t turn out so bad.

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4 thoughts on “Too young to be a mum?

  1. Fab blog. Totally agree. I had my daughter at 21 and despite that not being that young I felt judged. I can recall one person saying I’d ruined my life. I have never claimed a benefit, I’ve worked hard and I have enjoyed every bit of being a mum. Not saying it was always easy but I would do it again if given the choice. I know plenty of young mum’s who despite very little support do an excellent job.

    1. Thanks Chels for your lovely comments 🙂 I know you are an amazing mum and so are plenty of others. Not sure it is easy at any time is it – nobody gives you a manual! X

  2. My mom was almost 21 when she had me.
    Despite in my case things between us don’t really work (because of the somewhat short age gap between us) for most people in the same situation things are better.
    Too young to be a mom, will be a girl, who’s under 15 and is not independent and cannot take care of herself. Like, for example, in Bulgaria there are girls who are 12 years old and have 2 children and even more (those girls are gypsies but that it is not really important). Whoever the mom is and whatever the age is, the mom should be able to support her kid financially and mentally as well.

    1. I think we can all hope that parents have emotional stability however the reality of life doesn’t always mean that is the case. I just meant really that people shouldn’t freely judge a whole ‘group’ of others when they know nothing about them or their situation.

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